FINDING GOOD IN OTHERS….!!

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John 4:20-21 ESV / 291…….VERSES FROM THE HOLY BIBBLE…..’If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him; whoever loves God must also love his brother’ This is what Holy Bibble teaches us……We must regard people as God regards them. God perceives people differently than we do. Once we get in harmony with the Spirit of God and once we see people as God lays eyes on them, we can’t help but start to sympathize with them a little deeper.

It’s very basic nature of ours to point at people’s shortcomings. We meet a person, just for a moment, but soon become judgemental and within microseconds make criticisms based on irrational choices of ours. Whether someone is egoistic, abortive, audacious, trivial, harsh, or abhorrent, we stereotypically, slap a label on every person we meet……..”he/she is good”……”he/she is bad……..etc.. We routinely only notice the faults of  celebrities,politicians, and criminals, our family members, friends or co-workers and people in our everyday lives. It’s our nature to evaluate the person in front of us, to figure out if we can trust them or if we should be on our guard.I ask “who are we to judge anyone…..?””who has  authorized us take the ultimate decision about how a person is………?”

Every person is born as an innocent affectionate child.Sadly enough, as the child grows and become mature, they accquire the infirmity, we adults possess and that child-like virtue and innocence is soon lost.Nomatter, the adult becomes cold-hearted because of the harshness of life…that child is still hidden somewhere inside. The desire for unconditional love,care and understanding never dies. For instance, a tough guy who shouts and quarrels every now and then, might just want others to see a tough guy, so he can safeguard himself from being stepped on as he was earlier.

Each of us has positive and negative people and and there are events in everyone’s life that have insculpted and reformed us who we are today. Some of us face the difficulties of life and are blossomed with special talents and gifts. Others become introvert, cutting them from people and life altogether;destroying themselves to avoid any further losses. Ironically, one can never really understand anyone else, unless as the saying goes, “we’ve walked a mile in their shoes”.

None of us wants assessment or criticism.We are all trying to figure out our lives, struggling to make it work. We want and need to be cherished, respected, appreciated and understood.

1.Dont compare

2.Focus on the present

3.Appreciate the flaws

4. Expect the expectations

5.See positive intentions                                                                                                                              Recently I was at the dentist’s, and her assistant told me a long story about her electric company. My mouth was full of cotton wads, and I didn’t feel interested. But then I started noticing her underlying aims: to put me at ease, fill the time until she could pull the cotton out, and connect with each other as people. Maybe she could have pursued those aims in better ways. But the aims themselves were positive – which is true of all fundamental wants even if the methods used to fulfill them have problems. For example, a toddler throwing mashed potatoes wants fun, a teenager dripping attitude wants higher status, and a mate who avoids housework wants leisure. Try to see the good intentions in the people around you. In particular, sense the longing to be happy in the heart of every person.

Finding the good in others is such an important part of living a positively present life, but it’s often one of life’s greatest challenges. Even when it comes to those we love and choose to have in our lives, finding the good in them can sometimes be difficult. (And it goes without saying that it’s extremely challenging to find the good in those you don’t like very much!) This is something we all struggle with from time to time so I thought it would be a perfect topic to write about for Find the Good February. Here are some of the best ways to find the good in others (both in those you love and those you could do without…):

1.DON’T COMPARE

iOne of the quickest ways to find fault in others is to compare them to someone else (or to yourself). Everyone is unique and if you’re looking for someone to be just like you or someone else, you’re going to have a difficult time finding the good in that individual and appreciating who s/he is. This is especially important when it comes to significant others. If you’re constantly comparing your current love to someone you’ve loved before, how are you ever going to truly find the good in your current relationship? (Hint: you won’t.) The less you compare, the easier it is to find the good.

2.FOCUS ON THE PRESENT

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Dwelling on what someone has done in the past can make it difficult to focus on who they are now. This doesn’t mean you should forget what someone has done, but if someone has made positive progress or atoned for any sins committed against you, it does no good for the relationship (or you!) to continue holding a grudge in the present. People change and one way to find the good in them is to pay attention to how they act right now, not to harp on how they’ve behaved in the past.

3.DROP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

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When you make assumptions (particularly about someone you don’t know), finding the good can be a challenge. The best way to stop making assumptions is to keep your mind and heart open to what people are actually doing and saying. Try your hardest not to label people into “good” or “bad” categories because, just because someone has behaved badly once doesn’t mean they’ll behave that way again. Also, if you label someone, it can be hard to mentally shake that label. For example, if you think, “Ugh, my coworker is so annoying,” you’re going to be looking for the ways she annoys you, which will make it really hard to see her good traits.

4.CULTIVATE CURIOSITY

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If you want to find the good in others, it helps to be interested in them. Keep your mind (and ears! and eyes!) open and you’ll be surprised by what you might discover. This ties in with dropping your assumptions. Instead of guessing what someone else is thinking or how they feel about something, ask. One of the best ways to find goodness in others is to ask lots and lots of questions. The more you know about others (especially personal details, like the fact that your boss adores his cat or your dentist has two kids), the easier it is to connect with them and notice the positive aspects.

5.EXPECT THE BEST INTENTIONS

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Another great way to find the good in others is to imagine that every single person is looking out for your best interest. This is very hard to do when someone cuts you off in traffic or your partner says something that enrages you, but the more you focus on how people might be looking out for you, the easier it becomes to find the good in them. More often than not, people do have the best of intentions (even if it might not always seem that way) and, even if they aren’t specifically looking out for you, they’re not likely looking to hurt you. Keeping this in mind will help you when you’re struggling to find the good in difficult people.

6.APPRECIATE THE FLAWS

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Each and every one of us is flawed in some way. We all have emotional baggage that we drag around with us. We’ve all been hurt by someone. We’ve all been born with unique personality traits that are sometimes less-than-ideal. Appreciating flaws might sound negative, but it’s actually a very positive thing to do when it comes to finding the good in others. Keeping in mind that we all — including you! — have our stuff (emotions, personalities, etc.) makes it easier to be compassionate and empathetic when others aren’t showing their best sides, allowing us to find the good even when things aren’t great.

We’re all crazily unique beings and, to be honest, it’s a wonder that any of us get along at all! I know how hard it can be to find the good in certain people. Some people are just difficult (and, hey, you might even be one of those people!) and some situations are downright challenging — but if you strive to find the good in others, you’ll not only improve your relationships with them, but you’ll strengthen yourself emotionally as well. Plus, the more you focus on the good, the easier it becomes to enjoy time spent with others (even if they aren’t people you particularly enjoy). Seeking out the good in others won’t make every person seem wonderful, but it’s definitely going to help you make the most of each and every one of your relationships

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We must learn to accept the faults of others just as God has learned to accept our own faults. If I want to cast stones, I would be my first target because I have no right to judge anyone else but myself.  If God accepts us, then we must learn to accept others.  To fail to do so is sin before God because He is no respecter of persons and shows no partiality with men and women…if we do, we are setting ourselves us as their judge and that is God’s job, not ours

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