‘MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN
India believes in this proverb, but still most marriages are rationalized with caution in this country. And this arrangement seems to be based on bogus issues instead of love and trust. Arranging marriages in India is an affair weighing the skills of the bride to be which will yield profits and the ones which will yield losses. “……..zarurat hai..zarurat hai…..ek shrimati ki ki….kalawati ki…seva kare jo pati ki…….” The girl has to meet up several standards in assorted fields to become a privileged whistle-stopper for marriage. All of us do come across many such cases where two candidates are being tried to get hooked up together but finally the male or the family of the male refuses to the proposal, because that girl lacks certain qualities.
From a female’s aspect , here I have just tried to list few of those must ‘have’ in an eligible bride :
I. Gora Rang
A must to be a good Indian bahu.”…….sundar ho sushila…..rang chandi sa chamkila….” No matter how the guy looks like, but the girl has to be good-looking that too with a fair complexion. Color of the skin matters a lot. God knows why, but we Indians have a affinity for this so called white skin. The media plays a crucial role in sidelining wheatish or dark-complexioned girls. A fair complexion is how we epitomize beauty. White men ruled us for over 200 yrs, still we go behind white skin.
As per norms of the society, a girl is only worth marrying only if she is a virgin. We Indians still believe that virginity is the certificate of a girl’s character.” …..hume apne ladke ke liye ek sati savitri ladki chahiye…..” And, obviously, this condition is not applicable on boys.
Now this seems to be absolutely essential in a girl to be fit for marriage. The girl should be able to cook every dish known to mankind. It might not be wrong to say………..’as if you are applying for a post of full-time cook……….and not getting married’
IV. Should not be ‘Party types’
Freaking out……chilling out with her friends……late night parties…..these do not qualify to be a ‘perfect marriage material girl ‘ ………”nahi toh log kya kahenge”
V. Highly educated but not working
Majority of family wants their bahu-to-be to be professionally qualified but should not even talk about going to work. ‘uske pass acchi degree hai……..yeh kya kam hai’. Like her qualifications are not what her career is all about…….rather it’s treated as ‘a show-piece’ only.
VI. Must consider husband as God
The society still expects every Indian girl to be ‘marriage material’ only if she believes and follows ……….”…..mere pati mera devta hai…..’
VII. Wake up early morning and do ‘Pooja-path’
Whoo!! That’s right. One following customs and rituals are signs of a girl to be a theist . Every second male wants a completely religious wife……’hume toh ek sanskari bahu chahiye……….”.
VIII. Should be a non-smoker
Our society believes ‘a good girl’ should never ever have heard or thought of tasting smoke. Smoke from cooking should be the only smoke in her life.
IX. ‘Alcohol ka toh naam bhi nahi’
‘OMG!!……..Tauba -Tauba’ Should only have ‘soft drink’ to be ‘a soft girl’ and fit for marriage.
Now, it’s up to you guys, and also girls to decide what you want in your partner to be. One thing is for sure , Indian arrange marriage system is more about society and less about couple. Unfortunately, this trend is still alive……but hopefully it will get changed with time……… with some people taking the lead, for instance my hubby and my in-laws.
Written By- Dr Chandini Gupta
Leave your opinion in the comment section 🙂